On The Rebound...

So after a relatively bad breakup, most girls decide to do one of the following things- cry (a lot), eat (a lot) of chocolate, drink (a lot) of wine, work-out, or shop.  Naturally I've invested my time in some retail therapy as opposed to crying or eating- however, do not rule out the drinking of wine... that happened.

I've recently found comfort in my new Madewell Pemberly Blouse, worth all $118... Hey, it made me feel better. 

I've also invested a small fortune in these....

I was never a fan of Tory Burch... The flats are whatever, I am guilty of owning a pair- and never wearing them because they are sooo damn uncomfortable- and I do own a bag, but it's fabulous and does not have the huge Tory Burch logo on it so it's acceptable- and neither do these boots so they're perfect.  This is the "metallic flat over the knee jack boot"- MY GOD that's a mouth full, but they are wonderful and shiny BUT NOT gaudy.  This is definitely the most expensive gift I would ever buy myself- but again, they make me feel better!

So again ladies- if you're going through a break-up, try to avoid the eating and crying- it will just make you fat and sad, and no one likes a fat sad girl... So go out there, burn a HUGE hole in your pocket- cause once you start looking good again, and your sure to feel good again in no time =).

A Sweater for the Colder Weather

Well holiday season is finally upon us.. and thanksgiving, which happens to be my FAVORITE holiday is just around the corner! I've began a search for the PERFECT holiday sweater- One I can wear to Thanksgiving dinner and not worry about my little pot belly hanging over the top of my pants (HAH who am I kidding, I am in exceptional shape)... One I can curl up in on the couch while watching football (HAH who am I kidding, I have a lot of Project Runway to catch up on) and fall asleep while wrapped up like a little nugget.  And last saturday, when I was half naked running around the streets of New Haven lurking the next victim of my drunken behavior, I found it.  Right there in the J Crew window it was just starring at me in the face and I was taken back quite a bit.

It's not too bulky, it has a little turtle neck but nothing too extreme that I will look like a prude of sorts, a cozy blend of wool and cotton, and the perfect color for my olive skin tone! AH I CAN'T WAIT TO GET IT AND LIVE IN IT! Saturday was truly a monumental evening... I found the perfect sweater and didn't fall down any steps.

Well I'm Just Upset

So I got these boots on Thursday- and when I say boots, I literally mean the cutest things to ever touch my feet.  For real, they were not expensive, something like $85, quality leather, adorable little heel, and a touch of badass... oh hell, I might as well stop torturing all of you and show you a damn picture already, right?

Oh hiiiiii little booties... You're so cute and have little grips on the bottom (perfect for a day like today, shitty and rainy) and have been getting me noticed all day!! "OH MY GOD, I love those boots!" "Wow, cool boots!" "(GASP) WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE!" 

I truly love all the attention, not gonna lie- HOWEVER, these little booties are doing nothing for me but keeping me from falling and forcing me to talk to a plethora of obnoxious strangers all day.  They are the most uncomfortable shoes that I have ever put on my feet- and I ACTUALLY do own a pair of shoes that Lady GaGa would definitely try to steel from me, THAT is how high and uncomfortable they are- so now only imagine how terrible these feel.  I am repeatidly telling myself, pain is beauty, PAIN IS BEAUTY! and have successfully convinced myself that the more i wear them i will simply break them in and they will eventually be comfortable.

An update is sure to be posted in a month or so- just beware, and do not purchase.

So About Halloween....

As we all learned from Mean Girls some five years ago when Lindsay Lohan was still a red, enjoyed penis and was off cocaine (questionable)… "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."   Every Halloween you can count on at least half the girls you know to wear some sort of trashy lingerie and put on a pair of ears and call themselves an (insert: cat, mouse, cheetah, fairy… etc. here).  But as I was talking to my best friend last week, he put it beautifully for me… “Al, you’re twenty years old, pretty, and have a boyfriend… so you don’t necessarily have to be the slutiest girl at the party.” THANK YOU! It was getting exhausting thinking about which fleshy area I could show off to top the ho next to me.  The only thing that I hate more than watching girls run around naked (don’t feel bad if you were one of these girls in the past, I’m totally guilty of this too…  but if you plan on continuing this tradition into the future, then feel bad) is showing up in the same costume as someone else.  AND THAT’S WHY the past few years I have tapped into my creative side and started making my own costumes! (thank god for the ridiculous clothing that American Apparel and Spencers manufacture) This year, American Apparel has come out with this super cool section of their website with all different ideas of how to make your own costume with their merchandise and I absolutely love it… here are some of my favs.

The Cupcake

How cute is she! I mean, not her face, but the tutus and the little bow as the icing on top! ugh, all she needs is to set her hair on fire and she could be a birthday cake! See, this costume is versatile too, I just turned the cupcake into a birthday cake, ugh the ideas are just flowing out of me.  The only issue I have with this costume, well not so much with the costume but the company, is that the damn tutus are $70 each... she has like 5 on, so you do the math.

Grapes

I find this to be absolutely hilarious! Look at her ugly little head peaking through the balloons HAH! But seriously, now THIS is creative.  I mean I can't really give American Apparel that much credit for this costume cos they really only contributed the purple tights and scrunchy- but this is damn clever, so good work AA.

Now the next one I do not want any of you to think American Apparel came up with, because they DID NOT, I DID, and plan on wearing one of the 4 nights that I have to dress up for this holiday that lands on a damn Sunday this year...

yeah, A ZEBRA... how many zebras have you seen on Halloween? I know, not many. I'm really looking forward to this one... the cool eye makeup, the slicked back hair spray painted black and white (God, I hope I won't end up looking like Cruella Deville, I LOVE puppies!) and it's still super tight so I can still look a little sexy, right?

I can only hope that after reading this no one steals my idea- because it is really really great, just like all of my other ideas, just kidding... but really, have a safe and happy Halloween and if you see another girl in your costume, DO NOT hesitate to pretend to be way too drunk for your own good and figure out a way to ruin her costume, then apologize, then laugh when she has to go home to change.

I Hate You... But I Like Your Dress

I honestly did like Emma Stone when she was first featured in Superbad, and was really pulling for her career (the same way I was pulling for Jonah Hills weight loss, but that didn't happen either).  Then I saw Emma in Zombieland, which is arguabley one of the GREATEST MOVIES OF OUR TIME!! But even in Zombieland she started to annoy me a bit... but I will say, she looked kinda hot (but she's no Woody Harrelson, OOOH NO!)  So these past two movies are what led me to the theater two weeks ago to see Easy-A... Oy, and what a mistake that was.  SHE SUCKED! The movie sucked, the cast sucked, the plot sucked, the acting sucked, the wardrobe sucked, but most of all, she really fucking sucked!  UGH Emma was annoying, most certainly NOT FUNNY, and looked totally awkward and lanky.  So now, I hate her.  Yup, that's all there is to it.  But then Emma showed up on the red carpet at an event for Easy-A wearing this......

It made me realize that hate is a really strong word and I started to like her more (a LITTLE bit more).  It takes a real skinny bitch to pull off a Pucci dress like this, and she did.  Now I can only hope she doesn't make another movie like that to keep us on this righteous path.  Although I am still pissed I'll never get my $6 back (it was bargain Tuesday)..

Life Ruiner...

Ugh Chloe Sevigny I need you to stop sucking! You think you're all fashion forward, but really, you just suck.

Seriously, you're making my favorite pair of Chie Mihara shoes be completely overlooked because of that ugly effing count dracula cape thing you're wearing.  I am quite convinced that you DO NOT own a mirror... the amount of times that you leave your home looking like a damn fool is beyond me.  You have a hit television show on HBO, in which you dress like a farmer and are involved in that weird mormon polygyny shit- so one would think you would be fed up with dressing like a humpty dumpty idiot after a long day of shooting, but ohhh no, not you miss Sevigny, you decide to carry this nonsense over into the real world for ALL, not just the viewers of BIG LOVE, to witness in fear.  So this is my plea to you, Chloe, please purchase a mirror, or stay at home.

Real Housewives of.... where?

When Bravo announced that they would be doing a new season in a new city... I thought GREAT! I'm soo happy I don't have to listen to housewives of ATL talk about their upcoming single coming out, watch Jill Zarin cry about how Bethanny hates her now because she's a bitch (however being from NY I am a little bias and that still is my favorite season to watch), watch Teresa spend thousands of dollas on leopard print jackets or listen to their annoying ass New Jersey accents ("I'm from Patterson baaabbaaayy"), or watch reruns of that crazy bitch Lynn from the real housewives of OC have ONE MORE panic attack. So, naturally when Bravo decided to introduce a new cast residing in Beverly Hills I was penciling in my notepad the date and time of airing and was so excited what these ladies would bring to the table with their clothing... They have money, plenty sources of GREAT fashion boutiques, and class (QUESTIONABLE). And then they showed up to their premiere party wearing..............

Where to begin...... First off, I didn't know that the world produced this much plastic to attach to actual human beings bodies, but then again, these are not real people.  I'm quite convinced that they are robots of sorts, customized mail order brides made in China.  If you have money, and can afford a lifestyle of which Beverly Hills offers, why, WHY IN GODS NAME would you purchase any of this?  Ok, the black lacy top that yes I own, to sleep in, paired with the gold satin skirt, REALLY?  She looks like a high class hooker, I'm sorry let me rephrase that, she just looks like a hooker, a cheap hooker.  I am quite convinced that the woman in the metallic gold potato sack missing one of its handles misunderstood the meaning of the term "trophy wife" and has actually attempted to look like trophy.

These women have worn me out, it's official... I'm out of juice, just like they are, sorry to out you but you have all clearly gone through menopause and it's about time that they start acting/looking/dressing like their given age. Oh, and now not only am I left with nothing to say, which is quite possibly the first time this has ever happened to me, but now I'm pissed too because I just publicly humiliated myself with my knowledge of Bravo Housewives... 

Note to self: must get out more.

It's like a puzzle....

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been busy... Drinking.  This weekend was quite wild- big birthday celebrations, so obviously I had to look my best and put my styling sense to work!  Unfortunately on Thursday night I found myself still seriously hungover- so I locked myself in my room watching hours upon hours of the real housewives of... (insert whatever city Bravo wants to ruin next).  But then Friday finally arrived and I was feeling good as new!  I took a little drive to Urban Outfitters to pick up a birthday gift for my darling best friend (oh, did I mention that it wasn't my birthday?) and ended up coming home with a little something for myself too!!

This Silence & Noise silk draped front cami definitely made some noise on friday night.. or maybe that was just the liquor talking, i don't remember.  For $54 I understand it's a little pricey, but it looks expensive and is beautiful on (looks better on me than the model, just sayin')..

I paired this gloriousbeautifulSHAMWOW top with this.......

Ugh, isn't it just beautiful! It reminds me of ripe grapes, although a bit off color (instead of a plump purple these are a ravishing shade of light pinkish/purple/taupe) hanging from a think gold chain instead of a tree branch, but whatever- I am now obsessed with them. OHANDBYTHEWAY I got them on sale for $10, jealous? yeah, I know, I would be too.

To top it off I threw on a pair of taupe twill J Brand jeans... I don't even think they qualify as jeans but I'm not sure what else to call them, other than GREAT.  They fit literally "like a glove" and make ya ass look fat- something that I personally have never been told, except for when I wear these pants, and I'm not gonna lie... I kinda like it!

Right before I ran out the door it started to rain, literally on my parade, so I grabbed a black sweater and stole this adorable pair of tan boots from my life saver of a roommate and my outfit was complete!

Now I want you to think of this post as a puzzle.. Put the pieces together and then marvel at the masterpiece in front of you!

A Birfday Bag!

Well, it's about time I started sharing my obsession with Marc Jacobs again... I am the biggest fan of the cross the body bag- particularly because I usually have at least 5 things in my hands at all times, (jump to: coffee cup, cell phone, sunglasses, hat and or scarf, dog leash?, liquor, and energy bar of sorts, and if i'm feeling real crazy my kindle)- but just your everyday necessities... So, naturally the cross the body bag is a must!
I've recently been stuck between these two....

Oy, Oy, Oy.. It's just so fun and camel and leather, oh and is that a red stripe I see? Not only is that my favorite beer, but it just adds that perfect pop of color!!

But this ones sooo cute too!! I mean, virtually they're the same bag, but this one is LEATHER and I LOVE LEATHER! I think this one may be the winner....

I've been sending these to my boyfriend in hopes that he'll finally get a hint and get me one for my upcoming birthday in a month- however after he saw them he simply asked if I would actually spend $300 on a bag. So clearly we have bigger issues on our hands- maybe the fact that he has no idea the type of person I am.. Oh man, now I'm reevaluating our relationship all because I wanted him to think he picked out the perfect gift for me when secretly I picked it out myself..... this plan has seriously started to backfire.

Help, Girl Lost in European Coat Frenzy !!

So now that my passport is finally in the mail, it's looking a little more promising that I'll be studying abroad in January... so naturally i've started looking for the perfect jacket that screams "I'm an American in Europe but don't want you to know I'm an American so come ravish me Italian men".... or something like that? I just snagged this wonderful coat from Free People (which by the way I would HIGHLY recommend shopping at for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you need for fall because it is ALL superfly and I want it all, so you can send your donations to aleone24@gmail.com, thanks.)

So cute, I know.. But how could I possibly wear this jacket without that WONDERFUL hat? That's just it, I CAN'T! So, now i'll be heading back to the Free People website (after I receive your donations of course).

And then as I was reading the amazingly terrible US magazine with Lauren Conrad on the cover explaining how she "got her revenge!" on MTV and all of her fake best friends (which, I don't understand what the hell she has to complain about, and what she could really have against MTV when they made her rich, famous, kind of prettier and portrayed her to be a little less boring than we all know she really is) when I found a jacket that made me think, hey, did I go wrong with my perfect European purchase ^^ ??

Now, I have NEVER... EVER shopped for clothing from Victoria's Secret- but I think I should start? I'm really obsessed with this jacket, and now I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I can just imagine myself parading around Paris on a weekend getaway- with a coffee and cigarette and little hat and leather gloves and my Chie Mihara grey suede shoes! oy, I just got so excited- enough of this. (It's also on sale for $129, which makes it THAT much more appealing)

Now, I need your help- which one should I return, keep, or purchase?? 

(PLEASE SAY KEEP BOTH, PLEASE SAY KEEP BOTH)

I'm Just So Confused...

I guess I can try and start on a nice note. Umm, Katy Perry's hair looked kinda cute?

 

Ugh, I can't even say that... I don't want to lie to you guys and have you thinking that it's okay to walk around looking like you've just streamed your hair with cotton candy... or possibly silly string?

But enough of that, I'm feeling a little sick looking at this picture and need to make this as quick as possible before I ruin my computer with vomit.  I thought that Bjork did the whole- I'm wearing a dead swan as a dress- thing back in 2001?? Oh, that's right, SHE DID and everyone hated it then, just as much as they do now.  Except as I continue to look at it, I realize that she's not only wearing a semi dead swan, but she has somehow managed to make her outfit look like a figure skater got raped by a burly biker with tats and this mistake came out.

Seriously, I understand that you're marrying the newly incarcerated Russell Brand- but if anything, that makes you more of a joke than you already are.

Get it together, and fast- I'm sick of this shit.

Boots Boots and more Boots!!

Soooo I am the last person to shop at Steve Madden or Aldo Shoes because, as we all know, they rip off EVERYTHING from actual talented designers... However, Mama needs some new boots, and by Mama I mean me, and by me, I mean broke ass college student- sooo I just got these because they are reasonably priced, and ummm, kinda cute!

$70 from Aldo ain't too shabby- not to mention I'll look so badass in these.

Now on to the good stuff.

Ohmygod. How killer?

Dear Stuart Weitzman, I want these I need these ooh baby ohhh baby.  These are just the sexiest and probably most dangerous shoe I've ever seen in my life- and will be a main staple of my wardrobe for the next 3 to 4 months.  They're so naughty school girl meets naughty school teacher.  Ahhh I can't want to run around like a little prostitot in these and make my mom proud!

Street corner, here I come!!

Paisley and Plaid... Come On People.

So I'm at the bank and there is this absolutelydropdeadgorgeous Asian woman standing in front of me.. She has these amazing Brian Atwood nude shoes on, that make her already beautiful legs look like a foot longer....

Then my eyes gaze up, I drop out of my lesbian moment and realize what she is actually wearing.....

Tommy Hilfiger plaid shorts, a skanky white lace top, with an orange paisley sweater over it.  My bed sheets are paisley.... Now, if you have the money and savvy t be strutting around town in the middle of the afternoon in a pair of Brian Atwood shoes, then you certainly can afford to dress yourself properly- so go get your head out of your ass, throw a pair of cropped jeans on with a silk blouse and stop looking like a damn fool. 

Oh, and don't even get me started on that bag.

Chunky Necklaces....? YES PLEASE!

I love having pretty friends who like to party and know how to dress well- those three characteristics in a girl are very difficult to come by, but since I'm such a lucky girl I have two friends who can check all THREE of those things off!

Je Love? Thank you for purchasing this, I'll be borrowing it in exactly 24 hours while I'm getting ready for another night of embarrassing escapades.  But seriously, I could be falling on my face and it WOULDN'T MATTER because I'd have this necklace on and everyone would be too distracted by how cool it is to even notice that my elbows are bleeding.  This mystical magical chain heaven was paired (and quite well might I add) with a deep V bodysuit (and we all know how much I love me a bodysuit) that was totally open and totally sexcellent in the back. Good work girlfriend.

Oh and what's this you ask yourself? (other than a whole lotta boob... sorry) Another wonderful necklace that I can't wait to wear and run around and pretend I'm a princess! Now this is some BLING, AND I LIKE IT.  Jewelry like this makes me feel like a mix between P Diddy and Cinderella- pimp, yet classy... and what's wrong with that? Nothing.

What I find truly most astonishing about BOTH of these necklaces is that they are from J CREW... Your jaw just dropped, right? I know, my reaction exactly.  

Who knew that the Crew had it in em!

Oh Hello...

This is a beautifulperfectamazingfantastical Stuart Weitzman shoe in which comfort DOES NOT matter... For reals, I would make sweet sweet love to these shoes all day long, if that wasn't weird or anything.  What's wrong with them? Oh, nothing. They're leather, scaled, have laces and a peep toe.. now if you don't already own a shoe with all of the above (which I totally understand if you don't because the chances that you just checked everything on that list off is slim to none) I must INSIST that you go out right now, yes, RIGHT THIS INSTANT, and get yourself a pair- and if you can't go out and buy a pair right now because it is past 7 PM and most stores generally close at that house, go on Zappos.com and find a pair and order it.

That whore of a mother of mine just purchased these and made the HUGE mistake of gloating and sending me an email with these attached... I can just imagine her giggling over her blackberry thinking that she's rubbing it in that they're HERS and not MINE- but hello, we're the same size and yes, I will steal them.

Naval Action

Okay, I understand that the state of Connecticut currently thinks that it is ACTUALLY located upon the equator, however it is not and I think it needs a serious reality check because I can no longer sit in my non-air conditioned bedroom, with a fan in my face and sweat dripping from my body.  However, just because this weather is absolutely intolerable and disgusting DOES NOT mean it is appropriate in anyway to wear a belly shirt to class- with booty shorts to boot.

Said belly shirt is meant for da club, not da class.

I found comfort in the city of angels...

Well, mostly just the clothing boutiques. Let's start with some of my favorite purchases...

This is probably my new favorite top- and it better be for what I paid for it.  I picked up this gorgeous Chelsea Flower silk blouse completely embellished with copper studs and huge cut out arm holes from Kitson Boutique in Beverly Hills.  

I paired this awesomelyfabulous (not to mention slimming) top with my new House of Harlow necklace that I've become slightly obsessed with... and yes, that does mean I have been sleeping with it and showering with it on, whatever.

For yellow gold $80 ain't so bad, touche Harlow.

Next, we hit up some vintage shops around West Hollywood- Now THAT was an experience.  I am all about vintage clothing, but sometimes (ok, all the time) I find it to be a bit too overwhelming and I get exhausted and cranky and angry maybe throw a temper tantrum or two.. or three- but after I gather myself, dry those tears and muster up courage within myself to sort through that rack of 8,000 t-shirts... I found THIS!

Now don't be mistaken, I would NEVER wear this shirt with Chanel pearls, however, for the pictures sake- totally.  It's difficult to see the shape of this silk blouse, so let me paint you a picture. Oversized, silk, tuxedo pocket (handkerchief included), obnoxious, DJ Jazzy Jeff cerca Fresh Prince of Bel Air... Yep, that about sums it up.

... More to come, be patient with me- I'm a train wreck. 

Let's keep it moving eh?

I just recently returned from a fabulous week in Los Angeles... and let me tell you, there is NOTHING more that I hate than being stuck on a security line behind that chubby girl who is trying to compensate for her weight by over-accessorizing and is told to continue walking through the metal detector, each time being asked to remove her hoop earrings and then name plate.... so lets talk perfect plane attire.
When traveling to a warm destination, I would opt for a layered look on top- comfy tank or ruffled t-shit underneath a light cashmere sweater (because apparently it's $14 for a blanket on a damn jetblue flight nowadays)........

I really love this look from J Crew. The sweater is classic yet has a modern twist and for a nice quality of cashmere, $98 ain't so bad.

This look would only be complete with my favorite.... you guessed it, the Pratt's Boyfriend Jean! (I told you I was obsessed) or another look that everyone, including myself, is loving is the J Brand cargo pant..

To pair this with the sweater, I would choose the J Brand houlihan cargo pant in vintage olive to offer a nice contrast, however don't shy away from the many funky colors they have to choose from!

Now, as someone who prides them-self on being able to fit into and look great in nearly any pair of J Brand jeans, unfortunately, these cargo's do not fit the bill and a little piece of me has been lost with this feat. 

OH, and don't forget to wear a shoe that requires some sort of sock! whether it be a ped or 70's tube sock, be sure to keep those twinkle toes covered because I sure as hell don't know where that chick with the name plate has been walking, and when I take my shoes off I want to be sure that there is no grime getting stuck to the bottom......

I personally love these classic slip on Vans in charcoal.  They're stylish and functional, especially for an airport security check- and you can hide your socks in them too!!!

I Could Dig It

So Philip Lim is now trying to "diversify"? I thought that was what fashion was all about to begin with? AHHH I can't even hate, I love this little mans designs SO much that when I had the opportunity to meet him, I kind of froze like he was Justin Timberlake or something.

LOOK! It's the TTD!  Philip Lim has now created the Tunic Top Dress, otherwise know as the "TTD"... I actually kinda like it!  It can be totally casual, maybe even a bikini cover up? or dressed up for a night out with maybe a super short tight dress under it or a funky pair of shorts as seen here ^.  either way I definitely need to get my hands on a TTD for fall- and a pair of those damn shoes for fun.

Whatever.....

Ok, so maybe I'm a little jealous of Emma Watson, but I'm allowed to be. Seriously, whatever this girl does turns to gold and I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR that she gets to wear as much Burberry Prorsum as she wants!!!!!

Even with this tinker bell hair cut, she still looks AMAZING... and SEE, I am a fan of the romper- particularly this one.  Not only is it long sleeved, but it's LACE too! UGH I wish that she wasn't gorgeous, talented, smart and a style icon because I really want to hate her because her life is just that much better than EVERYONE'S- but I can't. So now in an attempt to be mean to little Emma here, all I can ask of her is to wipe that stupid "myspace mirror picture" look off of her face and go back to being perfect, thank you. 

"That Tiger's Still in There"

Funny that this was the quote on the cover of Jennifer Lopez's GLAMOUR shoot- yet she's wearing cheetah print........

THIS is the photo that they chose to grace the cover of their September 2010 issue (their BIGGEST ISSUE IN 20 YEARS!) ???? 

I am actually a bit terrified from this snarling look on her face... I'll admit, I was an avid JLO fan (mostly during her Jenny from da block phase when she was with Diddy <3 ) I mean, who doesn't think I'm Real, and her endless duets with Fat Joe were the theme songs to the millennium? But seriously, I think it's time for her to realize that her career has come to an end and it's time to start acting like a mom and Marc Anthonys wife (although i'm not sure what the would entail other than being a Latin Stunna)..  She looks like an actual animal here and I am a bit frightened that she may come leaping through the cover any second and attack me, I now feel uncomfortable and am immediately turned off by whatever may be inside these pages....... 

Grrrr.

But Marissa Cooper was the Social Chair....

So why the HELL does she look like this? Seriously, ever since Mischa Barton decided to leave The OC (to pursue a film career???) THIS has happened. She looks like the love child of Jack White (of the White Stripes) and James Van Der Beek… Great bone structure but a total mess who has no idea which way is up and is in desperate need of a shower and wardrobe change? 

NO WONDER Ryan broke up with her.

Get it together, NOW.

But it's HOT outside...

At least twice a week, upon entering my morning class, I find myself hot and bothered by this MISERABLE summer heat. But on these two days a week I am  particularly PERTURBED by one of my fellow students who opts to wear CORDUROYS when it is 95 degrees outside..!!!!! Now I just recently got into wearing shorts in the summer- I was always more fond of a nice summer dress or loose fitting pant, which DOES NOT include a corduroy!  My favorite pant which I've owned since like, 2003 are these amazing Juicy Couture linen pants......

Now I know, I know, they're Juicy... But they really are GREAT and I could happily live in them.

If you're as avid of a jean lover as I AM, the tight pencil leg is not ideal for a hot summer day, so why not try the loose fitting and airy boyfriend jean? 

This is the Pratt distressed boyfriend jean- aka THE MOST AMAZING PAIR OF PANTS IN THE WORLD that I eat, sleep, work out, bath and oh, LIVE IN. Ok, just kidding- that'd be gross... but if I could, I would!  They're great to dress up for a night out with (my personal favorite) a cork wedge, or perfect for a fat day!!

So ladies- please, mark your calendars, corduroys should be left in storage with the rest of your WINTER clothes until November 1st. God Bless.

Brody Jenner got an A for Avril

No one cares.

You're a tool.

Her Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the... Desert?

So does anyone remember Kelis? Don't feel bad if you don't, I hardly do... mostly she's know for having a donk, shaking it, and going through a nasty divorce with Nas (her baby's daddy).  But lately Kelis has been popping up ALL over the place with the release of her new album "Flesh Tone"... but the only flesh tone I'm seeing lately is this...

MY GOD WOMAN.. This is the outfit Kelis chose to wear in the opening scene of her "comeback" video.  I wonder if she actually asked her stylist to make her look as ridiculous as possible and put her in something that resembles that of a kangaroo pouch? She looks like a worse version of Kanye West's ex-girlfriend who thought these unitards are okay- THEY'RE NOT.  They don't look good on anyone, and I don't care if you do call yourself a "super model", Amber Rose... With a name like that the only thing you will be is a porn star.  

But to be honest, I really do like Kelis' new song "Fireworks" and I have to give her some credit for having somewhat of a comeback after releasing FOUR albums that no one has EVER heard AND after Nas left her broke ass... So kuddos Kelis, yeah, I said it.. KUDDOS.

Oh jesus no, I take it back, I take it ALL back!!!!

A few short moments later as I continued to listen to this song with my eyes covered in fear that I might catch a glimpse of another horrendous outfit... I slipped- and saw this!  Is that a navajo princess I see? NO, that's just Kelis, who apparently thinks she's the  DANCING QUEEN OF THE INDIAN MILKSHAKE (in the desert?).  Now she's pissing off my native people and dressing like a damn fool- I simply cannot support her new album (even as badly as I want to because I AM LOVING the whole electric-house-dance music)- I take this as a personal offense. 

Just Call me Sergeant

Hmmmmmmm... Yes, I know, I just got that warm and fuzzy feeling inside too! Don't fret- it's normal!

By this point in my life, one might ACTUALLY think I am in the army, was in the army, or am seriously considering joining the army... Due to the over abundance of military style coats (which are an absolute must have for fall!!!!) in my closet, but that will not stop me from purchasing this one (for ONLY $49.99 from ZARA!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Oh how I can't wait for fall... by far my favorite season, mostly because I get to layer T-shirt under hoodie under my new military coat... and wrap myself up in scarves everyday that people start to think there's something wrong with my neck, or maybe that I don't even have a neck and my head simply rests upon my shoulders.............

Give it to me. ugh. picture yourself wrapped up in this AMAZING Armand Diradourian Buffalo Checkered Scarf, snugly tucked into that ZARA jacket with a classic aviator.  I would almost be afraid to wear these two pieces together for fear of people chasing me down the street trying rip them off my back... But luckily since I can't afford a $295 scarf, I won't have to live my life in fear.

Instead I'll be happily bundled up in this magical Lucky Brand Block Print Eternity scarf

... For a cool $55

GLAMBERT... How Do We Make Him Stop!?!

While in my car on the way to the gym this morning (while putting my under eye concealer on AND curling my eyelashes) an Adam Lambert song came on the radio that opened with "So I got my boots on, got the right amount of leather and I'm doing me up with black color liner."- So I got to thinking, did I hear the radio DJ wrong? Have I been fooled YET AGAIN by the mass media? Is this Glambert character actually a female? Could he be P!nks alter ego??? So I decided to take a little look at this "mans" official website.  I was immediately caught off guard when I was greeted with EVERY zodiac sign, now i'm wondering if he's able to depict horoscopes... but then, I stumbled upon this lovely picture of the GLAM.

Oh, you think you're tough?

Seriously, homeboy looks like a less sexy, more angry, and gayer version of Liza Minnelli (and I didn't know you can get gayer than Liza...) I want to shave his head, thoroughly wash his face and TAKE THOSE STUPID GLOVES OFF THAT ONLY SOMEONE LIKE LADY GAGA CAN PULL OFF... And you are NO Lady GaGa Glambert.

I really don't know if I can live in a society that is this upside down.

A Concert Goers Guide to Style

So last night I attended the Kings Of Leon concert (which was absolutely amazing, fantastical, booyah, slam-dunk,  throwitindabag, kick ass good time) and it got me thinking what is practical, appropriate, and COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS to wear to a concert.... lets start with something that, hmmm, I would wear!!

Now, lately I've been obsessing over Joie tops.  The tops all derive from a gorgeous color palette, light weight materials, and embody the perfect amount of hippy for me!  Not to mention if you plan on tailgating in the parking lot before the show (which I highly recommend you do before ANY concert.. there's nothing wrong with some spirits...) the loose fitting design is easy to slip on and off and great to wear a tank under in case you get hot in the summer sun. 

Now this top I would pair with these new CarMar army green shorts that I bought at LF a few weeks back... picture it, this unreal coral top with a contrasting green short- fiiiireeee.  If only I could find a picture of them online to show all of ya'll- don't worry, I'll keep looking!

Now to top the outfit off- lets talk shoes... Since this arena has a field where all the cheap concert goers like myself like to sit and enjoy the show (until one of your friends that works there hooks you up with three VIP bracelets and you make your way to the front row where you're lightly getting sprayed with KOL sweat- yeah, it happened), lets think closed toe- a cute sneaker perhaps? 

This Schoolyard Sneaker available at Urban Outfitters is a personal favorite of mine... 

AND YOU CAN GET 2 FOR $30. HURRY! GO GET 2 PAIRS!

OH, AND HOW COULD I FORGET??? Where will you carry your phone, money and lipgloss while you're dancing and running around to the sweet beats of your favorite musician?? In your across the body bag! THAT'S WHERE! 

ugh, how perfect is this bag? It just doesn't make sense, I know.  But seriously if I could get away with it, I would actually hunt Marc Jacobs down, possibly lock him away somewhere and have him slaving to make one of a kind bags for me... FOREVER. ok, I'm getting carried away now, this must stop.

Now, there were far too many things wrong with what the girls were wearing last night at this concert, however I can't expect too much seeing as I was at a CONCERT IN CONNECTICUT.. but I'm going to spare you and only focus on two main things I noticed:

First off, don't get me wrong, I love me a romper- but listen very, VERY closely......... CONCERTS ARE NOT ROMPER FRIENDLY, I REPEAT, CONCERTS ARE NOT ROMPER FRIENDLY.

Now, I've been in some very compromising situations- and I've gone to the bathroom in some places that I'm not so proud of, but at least I was wearing separates so I maintained some of my pride.  Generally speaking, when attending a concert like such, the bathroom facilities are less than adequate and often involve porter potties (hold the vom) so get smart and wear something with easy access, k?

Now finally- you all get a treat! I somehow managed to catch this (definitely not discrete) photo of a girl I saw in the parking lot that made my girlfriends and I gasp and say OHMYGODWHATAREYOUTHINKING!?!?!

Come on, high heeled booties (which were black and leather and it was 85 degrees out yesterday, imagine the stank!!) when attending a concert that sits on a muddy, grassy hill at a 45 degree angle- that's just plain stupid if you ask me... 

AND a CLUTCH! How will she dance and be carefree, you ask yourself? EXACTLY, I have no idea!

Well now, I hope you all learn from our little darlings mistakes here- worst thing is, she probably thought she looked bangin'.