Real Housewives of.... where?

When Bravo announced that they would be doing a new season in a new city... I thought GREAT! I'm soo happy I don't have to listen to housewives of ATL talk about their upcoming single coming out, watch Jill Zarin cry about how Bethanny hates her now because she's a bitch (however being from NY I am a little bias and that still is my favorite season to watch), watch Teresa spend thousands of dollas on leopard print jackets or listen to their annoying ass New Jersey accents ("I'm from Patterson baaabbaaayy"), or watch reruns of that crazy bitch Lynn from the real housewives of OC have ONE MORE panic attack. So, naturally when Bravo decided to introduce a new cast residing in Beverly Hills I was penciling in my notepad the date and time of airing and was so excited what these ladies would bring to the table with their clothing... They have money, plenty sources of GREAT fashion boutiques, and class (QUESTIONABLE). And then they showed up to their premiere party wearing..............

Where to begin...... First off, I didn't know that the world produced this much plastic to attach to actual human beings bodies, but then again, these are not real people.  I'm quite convinced that they are robots of sorts, customized mail order brides made in China.  If you have money, and can afford a lifestyle of which Beverly Hills offers, why, WHY IN GODS NAME would you purchase any of this?  Ok, the black lacy top that yes I own, to sleep in, paired with the gold satin skirt, REALLY?  She looks like a high class hooker, I'm sorry let me rephrase that, she just looks like a hooker, a cheap hooker.  I am quite convinced that the woman in the metallic gold potato sack missing one of its handles misunderstood the meaning of the term "trophy wife" and has actually attempted to look like trophy.

These women have worn me out, it's official... I'm out of juice, just like they are, sorry to out you but you have all clearly gone through menopause and it's about time that they start acting/looking/dressing like their given age. Oh, and now not only am I left with nothing to say, which is quite possibly the first time this has ever happened to me, but now I'm pissed too because I just publicly humiliated myself with my knowledge of Bravo Housewives... 

Note to self: must get out more.